With a temp of 1° this morning, that was the first thing I said as I sat on my leather seats in my car (thank you to the animals that provide these to me). They were so cold! How many of you have said these very words a lot lately? Seriously, is this only the second day of winter? I was working my part time job at Georgetown Market yesterday and looked up to see a whirl of snow. It looked so cold and bitter outside. The winds were fierce, the sky was blurred by the flakes falling (tiny flakes so it was especially blurred), and the customers were squinting and holding their hats to their heads. I was thankful to be indoors at that moment. I felt sad for them having to endure the climate they found themselves in, when they did not expect it.
This morning, I was so cold on the way to work. The seats finally started to warm, as I got to the parkign garage. I love seat warmers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had I gone out to start the car and let it warm, it wouldn’t have shocked me as I sat to head into the office. The temp rose to 3° by the time I was downtown! That was something. I could feel those extra 2 degrees. I know I could. I walked across the street to get a veggie plate for lunch and a gaggle of coworkers exited behind me. One coworker said at least 3 times in a row, “It’s so cold!!!!!” I thought to myself, “you know it is cold, but I am prepared and the sun is shining.” Knowing it would be cold made it easier and faster to adjust. I was fine in the cold! It actually woke me up a bit, so that was nice. I don’t have much work today.
My weight watchers journey as of late is like the morning temps today. At first, I was shocked when I returned to meetings. I will say it. 215 pounds! My goal is 174. EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, doing that math, I have 41 pounds to lose. I do not want to admit this, but I need to because the holiday treats are tempting me more than any year in the past. If I say it out loud, so to speak, here then I will be able to resist for fear of having to admit to you that I have gone off program yet again. The last year has been hellish and I have endured a lot in my personal life. I am slowly walking through the other side of all this, and I am choosing to embrace WW the best I can. Working for WW was not easy on a mind that still sees itself as a fat girl. While I know the faithful members, those probably the only ones still checking this website, did not judge me for my body, I did encounter many times where I was looked up and down during getting started sessions. I am sure some thought, 'she could lose more!' Or at least I think they thought that. What do you think? Hee!
I had to leave the environment that based my employment on the number on the scale. That being said, not having to weigh in monthly to keep my job has made it easy to slack off and take a breather. That breather has lasted way too long and no matter how shocking that number was, it is what it is. I can’t control the temperature in the air, but I can control the number on the scale. I may be shocked at first, but knowing where I am allows the shock to lessen and it to sink in. Getting back “On Plan (OP)” is shocking too. Tracking and watching what I eat is shocking. But, everyday, the shock lessens and so does the burden. I am growing more and more used to it, and that is refreshing.
I will always have to do WW. This I know, and some days I am even grateful for that. I will always have a fat girl mind, but it doesn’t have to rule me.
I will get back to goal weight, and just like I love you no matter where you are, I know you will love me no matter where I am! So, no shame.
And I lost 1.6 my first week back!
How about this (or as many of these as you can do) as a holiday gift to yourself:
- Get shocked and do something about it!
- Give yourself the grace you would give anyone else
- Do one thing today that you are willing to do the next day, and the next day, and the next day…
- Bring your lunch
- Eat before you go to that holiday party
- Take something WW friendly
- Track as much as you can
- Don’t force yourself – you will only resent having to do it
- Allow yourself a treat if you want one
- Give yourself a day of pampering as a reward for all your hard work this year. This can be at home and on the cheap!
- Take the candy you are given and make a big pile! Count how many days you can go without eating it! It will become a joke. I am on 12 days for a Hershey’s with Almonds – yum! I don’t even want it now!
- Ask for help!
- Go to meetings
- Weigh-in - you can't know what you have to do without knowing where you are
- Be proud of yourself! I am!
And, last but not least, email me and let me know how you are doing!!!!!!!!!!! I miss you all so much! My exit from WW was very fast, and I apologize if it felt as if I had abandoned you. I hadn’t. I still haven’t. If I could do it differently, I would. I know how much importance I put on my leaders and I am sure some of you were hurt. For that I am sorry. It was not my choice to leave, especially so fast. That pesky scale reared its ugly head and I couldn’t get around it any longer!
Happy Holidays and to all a happy, joyous, prosperous, and productive New Year!
Love,
Meg
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Baked Pasta with Butternut Squash and Ricotta
main meals
POINTS® Value: 5
Servings: 8
Preparation Time: 25 min
Cooking Time: 60 min
Level of Difficulty: Moderate
This pasta casserole is a hearty yet elegant combination of whole wheat penne, rich butternut squash, toasted walnuts, ricotta and Parmesan cheese.
Ingredients
2 spray(s) cooking spray
20 oz butternut squash
1/8 tsp table salt
12 oz uncooked whole-wheat pasta
1 1/4 cup(s) fat-free skim milk
2 tbsp white all-purpose flour
2 tsp minced garlic
1/2 tsp table salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 tbsp thyme
1/2 cup(s) part-skim ricotta cheese
1/3 cup(s) grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup(s) chopped walnuts
Instructions
· Preheat oven to 375ºF. Coat a baking sheet with cooking spray. Coat a 2 1/2- to 3-quart baking dish with cooking spray.
· Place squash on prepared baking sheet; roast until tender, about 20 to 30 minutes. Place in a large bowl and mash.
· Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. After squash has been roasting for about 10 minutes, cook pasta according to package directions; drain and return to pot.
· In a medium saucepan, whisk together milk, flour, garlic, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, whisking frequently; reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring often, until thickened, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat; stir in mashed squash and 2 1/2 teaspoons of thyme. Add sauce to pasta; toss to mix and coat.
· Transfer pasta mixture to prepared baking dish; dot with spoonfuls of ricotta and then sprinkle with Parmesan and walnuts. Bake until top is lightly browned in a few spots, about 15 to 20 minutes; remove from oven and sprinkle with remaining 1/2 teaspoon of thyme. Yields about 1 cup per serving.
· Place squash on prepared baking sheet; roast until tender, about 20 to 30 minutes. Place in a large bowl and mash.
Notes
· *Look for a 20 ounce bag of fresh, already peeled and cubed squash from your supermarket. If you can't find any, cut a medium squash in half lengthwise and place cut-side down on prepared baking sheet; roast until tender, about 45 minutes. Scoop squash out of skin into a large bowl, mash with a spoon and proceed as above.
Alternatively, you can microwave cubed squash, covered, in a shallow microwave-safe baking dish or container with 1/4 cup of water, until cooked through; mash squash in a bowl.
